Doctor's Office

"Having a Hell of a night"
All the tiles in doctor's
offices look the same: off-white
with specks of color, baby
blue & pink. Very vomitous.

"Are you making a mess there, hun?"
Everything is metal & sterile. Quiet
except the chatty nurses outside
the open door. I hear incoming patients.

Brittany dove into the shallow
end. Lance's finger is infected.
Mr. Northrop gets a shot.
My toenail is ingrown.

That blood pressure instrument
is called a "cuff." The patient
should have their palm
up & feet flat on the floor. Dinosaur
adhesive bandages, or Band-
Aids are given to kids.

"Wassup Dude...Kyle."
Wassup Doc.
"Would you look at that."
Rather not.
"That infection won't take
the anesthesia." Rip off
the toenail, get it over with.
"What's your hat say? Hobo
With a Shotgun. You have
a shotgun?"
"No, and I'm not a hobo."

Antibiotics.
Pills I can't swallow
without applesauce or something.
Soak my foot in Magnesium Sulfate.
Soul. Fate. My toe isn't that dramatic.

The pharmacy is cooler
than the office which is cooler
than outside. Pharmacists must
be part Innuit. Into it,
I peruse their options of cures.
The vaginal cream is under the foot
and skin section. I stifle
elementary laughter.

On a scale from one to ten
how much pain is your foot
in? "A four." A six.
"Do you smoke?" "No."
"Do you drink?" "No."
"How tall are you." I don't know.
"5'6"?" and a half.
"Do you exercise?" "No."
"Are you sexually
active?" "Inactive."
"The doctor will be with you
in a minute."

In a minute.

Second Date

There must've been something in the way
she tasted. "Like Pringles," I told her,
"the fun won't stop." Though it did
cost me. My heart and gut constricted
when we passed the $200 mark
on our second date. I craved for third
base.

Recipe

My ex-girlfriend's dad looked
like the Tapatio man but not
as hot. Her mom reminded me
of that raisin lady, bags full
with wrinkly grapes. My ex seduced
me with her dried spiciness.

My dad was the Kool-Aid man,
intrusive and couldn't say no. Mom,
Mrs. Buttersworth. Nothing
prevented me from becoming
a slow moving, obnoxious child.

These family recipes
didn't mix. Add baking
soda and vinegar.