Automatic Writing

Automatic Writing - It's an exercise of the subconscious. Pretty? Organized? Clear? Grammatically correct? No, it's not suppose to be anything except a collection of the rapid images and connections that your mind makes. 10 minutes of non-stop writing. I've done about 20 of these & found only this one that didn't have some weird personal things in them. Scary, dark, strange, unknown personal things. Talk about catharsis.

a feather duster like a white, dirty, feral cat. dead in the middle of the street, beaten to a furry pulp by a large man with a black spaghetti bears and tumbleweed hair. holding a sideways lexicon of pencils in his mouth. in his mouth wet, snail drool like dog drool sawmill tongue tongue tongue tongue like a witches hat skewed at the beginning at curling like toes in orgasm eyes squished tight, folds of flesh making stringy spheres for eye sockets wall sockets look like surprised Disney Alice In Wonderland cards with spade and heart heads pumping blood into backwards music boxes. Spinning jagged rusty metal ballerina. A ballet of decay and nostalgia. The music tinkling like freeway bumps. freeway bumps like freeway bumps pimples asphalt pimples cherries on stems orbit around each other like eyeballs touching. A cricket scurries away from a spider blooming out of a wooden hole in a garage that’s hotter than a dirty kitchen but the cricket makes it’s way to a lazy cat who does nothing. I saw my dog eat a tomato bug once. the juice dripped out of his mouth and when he went to lick it up he left a wet spot on the concrete the color of mud and it was in the shape of a tyrannosaurs rex in a cage. in a cage. a cage is like a cellular phone. cellular phone put into the head an antenna sticking out like Alfalfa from the little rascals who had freckles that looked like meatballs on spaghetti spaghetti spaghetti was diarrhea on a plate chili over hotdogs at a baseball game where the players run like animatronics from a distance and their smells of alcohol and fake cheese and American spirit. The spacebar on the keyboard feels like the underside of a breast that’s dry. dry dry dry dry dry dry dry dry there’s a shade of black that appears when I close my eyes that looks like a desert sun eclipse and my pants are lined like planets in orbit. A snail looks like a USB cord. The inside of a video game cartridge from the 80s reminds me of a cardboard invention of Calvin. Calvin …snowmen wait In hopes of rain, to melt into brothers. Snowmen with crooked arms that wave hello like broken bones. the white in their faces never matching the white on the ground. ground on the ground the ground on the ground underground worms have no eyes, no nose, no faces, no holes, but they hump through soft dirt in straight lines like jellyfish of mud. mud. mud. mud. He lost weight for the role and looks like my father if my father was dead and walking around. Hardwood floor cuts at my feet, making my toes bleed like that time I dropped a cement block on my big toe and my nail came off, turned black and fell away into the grass. My thumb toe without a nail looked like rough bologna and felt like a clump of matted hair, like on a rabid dog that once bit my brother’s leg like a shark bite.

Scraps

This post is a bit different. Over the course of my occupation at Magic Mountain & Walmart, I would bring a folded up piece of paper to work (not my writing notebook because it would get greasy at MM & ridiculed at Walmart). I have a stack the size of a tiny bible (which is where I stored them, now the binding in the bible is all screwy) and decided, out of the blue, to go through them. Here are scattered images, lines, thoughts that I discovered that somehow interested me.


My 13 year old
dog needs surgery
for a tumor on his lip;
it balloons
in the sun, grows dark.
Do I have to pay
for the surgery if he...
dies on the table?
No more whispering
in his ear what a good dog
he was.

***
From Breast to bottle
No you can't speak to Jackie Chan (Damn,
he ain't gonna be in Rush Hour 3)
Hello Benjamin!
Collection of vegetables.

***
Papa loves Mambo, but what about Mom?

Is a double cross twice as religious?

***
Left/right K
N, but backwards.

***
Don't worry about the drive, your feet know the pressure to get home.
the song of the windows
Like the persistent sound
of clipping your toenails.

***
To My Brother (Who
Never Had a Disney Pass)
I'm sorry we left
early when you wanted
to stay until midnight.
The lights were just
turning on & the sun
just setting. I apologize.

***
But

***
I'm a junkie for the pricks

***
6:23-6:38

I drove by two girls in sleeping bags, camping on a driveway. White flashlights in hand pointing to the stars, laughing. What do they talk about? Do the stars listen? I only ever camped in the woods, back never kissed concrete. The woos stars were always beaming, but lacked orange fluorescent glow, flashlights, the sound of cars driving by, wondering.

***
fifty-eight year old with lover body of a sixteen year old volleyball playing bird.

***
Shhh...
"Do you know them?"
"No."
"I know you."
"You do?"
"Yeah, from school."
"Did you know her?"
"No."

***
A mushroom cloud of yellowed
grease stains the tacked on wallpaper
Onion rings evaporate at 350 degrees
Buffalo sauce vapors blitzkrieg nostrils
Chemical warfare  (From what I can remember/tell, this is the first note I ever wrote at work)