Spit - April 8th

She's So High - 1999

I want to be sloppy
drunk with you.
Black out. Passionately
tell you things I would've said
anyway, slurring seems more
seems more honest. As if trying
but unable to clog the sewage. I let trash gutter
from my mouth, true truer things, maybe too private.
Put it in my head, then try anything in my head.
Weed? Coke? Whatever pills
I'm handed? Sure, let me take
take until I can't feel my body
or my body starts to feel
buggish or something. I don't know
don't know I haven't done drugs yet
with you. Self-destructing as a form self-loving.
I'll love your slurring little...

— — —

Spit(e) For Me

I think too much
about the time you spit
on your carpet & said I love you
like an apology, sometimes I
just have to spit. How could you
have known what I saw in that saliva?
Red wine staining, glass shattering,
earthquakes, a theme song
for urges. Just do it.
Just spit like no one can
see you. Just spit on me. My face,
my hands, on my head like shampoo
until it drips down my back, in my mouth.

You spit your gum into me
when we kissed, just once,
when I thought I had something to prove.

Just fucking spit it out.
Spit out your whole fucking life
into the carpet. You know I will slip
to my hands and knees & lap it up
like gum spit into my mouth. So goddamned
delicious. Let me fucking chew your lips
again. Let me suck it out
of your open mouth. Fucking fuck me
and spit on me until we're both dehydrated.
Just let me see it drip
from your lips one more time before
you spit on someone else's floor.
I know the smell,

that stinging saliva
scent, let that be for no one but me, please.
I tried

spitting on my floor
once, before you wanted to stop seeing me
spit, just couldn't do it.  Now
my floor is anointed with saliva,
every goddamn step a blessing
or reminder of urges I should have
fucking spit out when I was still able to
swallow.